March 10th, 2005

Tom Lehrer is Smug

HI MOM I am asking for CAT ADVICE on the INTERNET

So that this post doesn't turn into boring old cat yammering, I shall spice this up by calling Abbie the Cat by various names, some of which he has received over the years, and some of which I am stealing.

So anyway the problem here is that the grocery store has stopped selling the low-magnesium cat food I need to buy for Mr. A since magnesium horks up his ability to pee freely. As we like a freely-peeing cat who confines his activities to the litterbox as opposed to a blocked cat who will decide to strike while the iron is hot, as it were, and go wherever he is when the bladder allows, it is imperative that Timmy Jingles0 here stay free-flowing and happy. Besides, too much blockage and it'll kill him.

Tonight I realized the store was never carrying the stuff we liked ever again (.08 magnesium content, which is a bit higher than I'd like but was the lowest they had, and good ol' Chunk1 has been fine since July) I turned to the other brands for help. Amazingly enough almost nobody listed the magnesium content on their bags, which I will take that to mean "OH WE SURE DO HAVE MAGNESIUM, WE GOT IT IN SPADES, IN FACT WE SCOOP IT INTO EVERY BAG BY HAND" so I will avoid them. The lowest I could find was some Purina brand that had .09 and I had to take it. It was the lowest I could verify. It was also 11 at night and the cats were out of food so I had to buy something lest I go home and be greeted with sad, wan, starving cat faces and then be guilted into cooking them dinner. So I brought the food home, poured some into the bowl, and said "Here you go, Poops McGee2, hope you don't DIE" and he ate it. I bought the smallest bag possible so that I could get replacement food as soon as I can... which is probably Saturday, depending on whether or not I can get a ride to PetSMRT.

They've got food there that, while expensive, has something like .07 for the magnesium content scale (this is all in percentages, I'm sure, not some crazy arbitrary decimal scheme) and now that I can afford it, I should like to buy it. However I cannot find a nice pet store that is closeby and honestly, I do not wish to lug a 20-pound bag of cat food up the ol' hill in the ice and snow (we buy for the duration.) I do believe, as I write this, that I have secured a ride on Saturday (and brunch to boot!) but if anybody has any reasonably-priced food suggestions that involve 0.075 magnesium content or so, I would love to hear them, okay and so would Admiral Arthur Pennyfarthing, O.B.E.3

0. Name given to him after he decided he no longer wanted to be a triangle. Honest truth.
1. Courtesy C. McCoy, circa 1997.
2. Name given to him after he decided he no longer wanted to be Timmy Jingles. I hope you're taking notes; this will be on the exam.
3. Stolen entirely from Mo, but since she's no longer getting a boy cat I am reasonably sure I can steal it and she'll never know.

PS Martha has a bunch of nicknames too, including Captain Martha Blood, Marthabean, Beandip, Beano Bandito, and Weep Ye Soft for Puir Wee Martha, but only on Robert Burns Day.