September 10th, 2004

Tom Lehrer is Smug

DANCIN' ABBIE

Oh boy is Mr. Abbie ever so not happy and it's so hilarious that he's ever so not happy because I believe he has a touch of the St. Vitus' Dance and he can't help it and you can tell he's getting frustrated and his tail is lashing about but he can't stop dancing and all I'm doing to help is laugh my damn fool ass off at the little blighter because, well, it's funny.

He's got those nappy dreads again, see, those matted clumps of fur up on his back. I'm not sure what causes them but they seem to have a bit of dandruff in them and the fur tends to clump off every now and then. This is one of those times and there's one piece of fur that's clumping itself off but while it's doing so, it's brushing up at just the wrong spot on his back.

The spot where, when touched or agitated, makes him compulsively lick. I tried it myself -- I patted him and he purred and when I hit the patch of fur in question, he immediately swung RIGHT around and started to lick. He can't help himself. Cats have this reaction when parts of their back get messed with -- ever put one of those small chip bag clips on a cat's back (just the hair, mind you) and watch them try to walk? They get stuck in a perpetual slink-under and resent you even when you take the chip clip off and have a good laugh. I would turn all lights on if you get up in the middle of the night afterwards if I were you lest you find a nice present in your usual somnambulatory path.

So it is with Abbie. He's obsessed with the way that fur hits that spot. He'll lick that spot if he's sitting down and he twitches his hindquarters if he's walking and the hair moves slightly. He does this weird tail slide jumpy dance and then he sits down and whacks his tail against the floor because he's pissed about his silly involuntary reactions. I at first thought he might be in pain but I realized he's probably not since he's A. letting me touch the spot, B. not hiding under the bed in his "I'm not feeling well" spot, and C. also not yelling about it. He just seems very perturbed at the loss of his dignity and, well, who wouldn't?

I'm going to go give him a haircut now. Just a little one to remove that offending patch of fur which seems to be coming off anyway. Then I gotta figure out why he's getting it. Must be that low-magnesium diet -- and sorry, kiddo, if it comes down to either nappy dreads or a non-functioning urinary tract, I'm gonna let you have the nappy dreads, pal.

And your crazy dancing.