April 30th, 2004

How Can You Be in Two Places at Once

BEEN CAUGHT STEALIN

I was doing some lyric searches tonight to find some songs I remember hearing on the Dr. Demento show back in 5th grade, like the Frankfurter Sandwiches song ("Instead of me billing and cooing / All I keep doing is chewing / Frankfurter sandwiches, frankfurter sandwiches / All night long")

Then I remembered a wonderful risque duet from the 20s about a lady looking for the Hot Dog Man who could provide her with the right-sized hot dog to fit her roll. If you can't figure out the metaphor there then... well, you might be in fifth grade, cause I sure as hell didn't pick up on it until much later. ("Sister, that roll you got will hold half a hog!") I found the lyrics on a webpage that also included this next gem. It's claimed the author is unknown and the person transcribing heard the song once on an AM rock station back in 1968. I couldn't google anything more about the title. It sounds very Shel Silverstein, really, especially the "tomato pur-ee" rhyme. But more than anything else it's a proto-Been Caught Stealing, really, a great little hippie anthem, maybe Dr. Hook-meets-Abbie Hoffman, and I'd love to hear the tune. But it seems almost lost to the ages now, so I'm preserving it for whatever kind of posterity this journal can preserve. And if you know anything more about it, I'd love to hear it.
MY BABY'S RIPPIN OFF THE A&P

My baby's rippin off the A&P
She brings cake and eggs and candy to me
She don't worry, cause it's all free
Rippin off the A&P

She don't take a list when she goes to shop
She doesn't even write down a note
But she brings me hamburger and soda pop
On the inside pocket of her coat

My baby's rippin off the A&P
She's stealin from the rich, but she gives it to me
She don't budget, cause it's all free
Rippin off the A&P

What's on the shelf now, she don't care
As long as it's sittin on the shelves
Walkin down the aisle, she don't need to prepare
Cause God helps those who help themselves

My baby's rippin off the A&P
She gets peanuts, chocolate, tomato pur-ee
She knows the best things in life are free
Like rippin' off the A&P, every day
Rippin off the A&P
I love it.