April 7th, 2004

Tom Lehrer is Smug

(no subject)

I'm ever so slightly peeved this morning because I desperately needed to do laundry last night, only to find the washer/dryer combo that is shared by me and my downstairs neighbors completely monopolized. At 8 PM last night they started a load in the washer while a second load was rolling in the dryer and a third load was stuck on top of the dryer itself.

"Oh no problem!" I thought. "Soon the washer load will be done and the neighbors will go down soon enough, no doubt, to change loads around and free up the washer so I can use it."

At 9 PM the washer had finished and sat idle. The dryer, too, was done. Nobody had gone down to switch loads. It was just the same at 10 PM, which is when I went to check for the last time.

"Well obviously now I cannot do my laundry at such a late hour," I thought to myself, "So I shall just do it tomorrow before I head on out. I really want to make sure my special happy-go-lucky black pants are clean and free from cat hair before I wear them in public again. I presume the neighbors will be finishing their laundry early tomorrow or something."

Now it's 9 AM and I've missed my window of opportunity for washing clothes because surprise surprise, I seem to have been the only person to go down to the washer and dryer in 12 hours. God damn.

It's been suggested I go and physically move the laundry around so I can get my load in and out, but there are a few bugs in this plan, namely 1) There's no place to put the clothes except on the dirty dirty concrete floor and I'm not that vengeful, and 2) I really really really really really have this odd hangup about fooling around with other people's strange clothes. I just can't bring myself to dive right into the washer and pull out someone else's soggy underpants. (I think part of it stems from the fact that I'd absolutely hate it if someone did that to my soggy underpants.) Yeah, I got my fair share of neuroses, pal, but at least I don't leave loads of laundry in the machines overnight.

Luckily this is only a temp agency appointment and mostly involves those wonderful typing tests and stuff they make you take, but honestly, I'd much rather prefer one less thing to worry about as I stroll into the office. Looks like I won't be getting that today, eh.
Tom Lehrer is Smug

3 notes and another phantom postcard

1. I shall let you in on a secret: I've been up for over 30 hours now and counting.

2. I had two interviews today for consulting agencies. I floated through both. It was rather nice. However I am sure I did not do so well with the HAY DO SOME OBSCURE STUFF IN MICROSOFT WORD quiz, because they decided to penalize you if you tried twice and failed on it, and they would not let you consult the Help section -- which, of course, is the first thing one looks at if one is expected to do something or find a feature they're not sure about. I guess it's just a big ol' monkey chart they put you on to show prospective employers: "This monkey knew how to get the banana hanging from the ceiling. This monkey said 'eek' instead of 'ook'. This monkey scratched himself inappropriately and went to the bathroom right in front of Mrs. Hufnagel's fourth-grade class." "WE'LL TAKE THAT ONE!"

3. I got another phantom postcard today. Postmarked SOUTH SUBURBAN, IL. (The name alone conjures up hilarity if you think about it.) The front shows John Cleese hanging, bat-like, upside-down from the limb of a big tree (if you look closely you can see the rope that's holding him there.) He looks awfully calm yet quite silly at the same time. The photo is entitled "John Cleese, London, 1990 - Photographed by Annie Liebovitz" and we all know how super-cool she is with portraiture. This just clinches it.

The same handwriting is on the card as the "HELP WANTED - MALE" one but this time there is a note on the card instead of blankness. It reads:

Whiskered British Bat
Found: England and Ireland
Habitat: Hibernates underground in caves and mines
Emerges: Early dusk
Flight Pattern: Hunts flying insects at low/medium heights
Calls: Scolding or twittering if disturbed


The first card was a pleasant surprise, the second one is way too intriguing for words. I'm kinda hoping that, put all together, they form some kind of cryptic puzzle. Or the postmark locations make a giant smiley on the map like that pipebomb dude wanted to do, only without pipebombs. (And don't think I don't have my theories, you.)

4. When next go out, buy more magnets for fridge and cards. (Abbie got himself a fan portrait the other day too, you know. It is very nicely painted and says "Food, please" above him. It is very very sweet and also now occupying a central spot on my fridge. We were so tickled by this, him and I, that I went down to the mailbox and wrote "& ABBIE THE CAT" underneath my name.)

5. Finally, to quote Pete Abrams, "And that's it. I'm going back to bed."