December 11th, 2003

Tom Lehrer is Smug

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

[Mail> msg #61900149 (1 remaining)] Read cmd -> Next Dec 2, 2003 16:05 from Selat (Sysop) to Spatch Greetings, The following has been removed from your profile for violating the policy helpfile regarding Weird>. Namely that weird posts, either real or fake are not allowed anywhere on ISCABBS. This includes user profiles. As this is a new policy, no warning is being issued here. *********** I want whatever drug Thufir or Spatch is taking. I want to ride that technicolor zauerkraut flavored hellion merry go round. [Chow Yun Weirdabe> msg #1798501 (1 remaining)] [Mail> msg #62051632 (0 remaining)] Read cmd ->
1. Now that profile has been in place since 1999. The Weird> it was quoting from (a forum where every post is anonymous) didn't even exist for nearly four fucking years. Thufir don't exist on ISCA anymore. (Well, not the Thufir we all know and love. The new Thufir's a chick. Kinda like Dax on Deep Space 9.) The poster who came up with that brilliant quote (Marie Laveau) don't exist on ISCA anymore. And now that profile don't exist on ISCA anymore.

2. This "black hole" policy concerning Weird>, of all forums, is just incredibly fucking stupid.

3. The sysop should've mailed me and requested I change the profile instead of doing it automatically. This allows the user, who had not heard of this new policy and therefore did not think he was doing anything wrong, to take the responsibility himself to conform to the "new policy" and fix it and be a good little doobee and all that. Changing the profile immediately and without notification sends this: OH HEY YOU BAD BAD PERSON YOU DID SOMETHING BAD AND WE DONE FIXED IT FOR YOU, BUT DON'T WORRY, IN OUR BENEVOLENCE WE DIDN'T ISSUE A WARNING YOU LUCKY SOUL YOU.

4. This "black hole" policy concerning Weird>, of all forums, is just incredibly fucking stupid.

5. The last time I got "sanctioned" by a sysop was in 1996, when one of them realized that no, you can't live in Massachusetts and have 90210 for your zip code. No, wait. I was twitted for a week in 1998 because they thought I was plotting an insurrection against someone's x-disable list in Weird>. That was fun.

6. WHICH OF YOU BASTARDS NARCED?

7. ISCA sucks.

I've been on that damn BBS since 1994. My 10-year anniversary is coming up there in a month or so. Almost all of my online circle of friends either came from ISCA originally or knows me through someone who did. I've dated and kissed how many Roomaides and Sysops? You know. All that. But now the BBS is a former shell of what it used to be. Nobody I knows posts there regularly anymore. The truncated WHOlist, which used to number over 1000 simultaneous logins, now doesn't even fill up one screenful of scroll. I log in every two months or so just to keep the username. I know, I can't let go -- even though everybody else has -- but it's just a legacy, a database entry, a six-digit usernumber that I can't give up. (Yeah, remember when six-digits were the newbies? Yeah. Sup.)

So now this is my profile. I bet I'll get yelled at for this, too, as it "violates the happy spirit of ISCA" or something. Who knows. Note the outdated address and the outdated web address. Come and get me, you bastards. I'll be waiting.
Spatch
Cambridge, MA  02140
Email: spatula@worldstop.com
WWW: http://spatch.ne.mediaone.net
ONLINE since: 12/11/2003 1:20 from 213.subnet192.

 The following has been removed from your profile for violating the policy
 helpfile regarding Weird>.  Namely that weird posts, either real or fake are
 not allowed anywhere on ISCABBS.  This includes user profiles.  As this is a
 new policy, no warning is being issued here.
Tom Lehrer is Smug

more little bits

000. Anybody else get a fun spam like this one, from an address called "site-builder"?
I am contacting you about cross linking. I am interested in spatch.net because
it looks like it's relevant to a site for which I am seeking links. The site is
about art schools search utility.
I know that spiny got one for a machine of his that offers no web content at the moment, saying that his site was relevant to embroidery. I think someone's definition of the word 'relevant' is greatly different than others. Me, I'm just glad all that hard work I put into coding art schools search utility has finally paid off.

001. The mystery of PilotCarde has been solved, as I know you all were just on the edge of your collective seat wondering who it was going to turn out to be. It's the producer of our old cable access show in Amherst, and he didn't mean to IM me about JavaScript and SMS and stuff, but he misclicked and there you go. It was nice to talk to him again, and we had a nice conversation once the mystery was solved. So it wasn't anybody's alt after all!

010. Had a dream last night of a Red Line - Blue Line connector station. It crossed over the Yellow/Sea Foam Green line (it didn't say Sea Foam Green but that's what it looked like) line and went all the way to a large movie theater complex. Everybody all piled in the back of the train and sat up against the back wall, which was lined with a comfortable sofa-type thing, and that's when I noticed that we weren't connected to the main train anymore and there was an automobile between us and the rest of the train, and we kept chugging along. When I asked the train's driver about this she got annoyed. "That's what it's supposed to do," she said. Probably had to answer that question a lot or something. So we got to the movie theater and I woke up before we picked out what film to see.

011. The wind and rain this afternoon has ripped away part of the drain gutters. That's not good. For a few hours one metal bit was busy scraping up another metal bit with a high pitched shriek every time the wind hit it.

100. And I woke up with that tell-tale irritating itch in the back of the throat which foretells a few days of living on cough drops and knock-me-out medicine so it won't keep me from sleeping. I just hope this all goes down AFTER Sunday, thanking you very much.

101. Oh and I just totally Mary Sued the Bible. More specifically, the flood story. You're welcome.