October 19th, 2003

Tom Lehrer is Smug

Ordinally Yours

In that hazy shroud between deep sleep and wide-awake consciousness, I felt an ad coming on.

"Ok, first, I was walking down the street and I suddenly realized I was hungry. And it only took me a second to figure out what I wanted. I had two-thirds of a dollar in my pocket, so I set forth to the Quik-Mart, and I bought a Fifth Avenue bar. It was great, and every sixth person I passed smiled at me as I enjoyed the real milk chocolate and nougat -- I'm talking seventh heaven here! The peanuts and caramel made it a real treat for a king; Henry the Eighth, if you will! And by the time I was done, I felt as good as if I'd hit a home run in the bottom of the ninth and won the game."

Ok, cute and clever and somewhat dippy. Ok, kinda dippy. All right, dippy. I was a bit more awake now and rubbing my eyes but I had runaway brain and couldn't stop, dammit.

"In fact, it reminded me of the time in tenth grade when, at the eleventh hour, I was called upon to act in the school production of Twelfth Night on Friday the thirteenth, simply because I'd been the fourteenth kid in line..."

I tried to get all the way up to "...and the man from Twentieth-Century Fox signed me and made me a star before my twenty-first birthday!" but I got stuck in the middle. Such is life.
Tom Lehrer is Smug

(no subject)

Times like these I wish I had a digital camera.

Seen on the back of a vehicle in the Market Basket parking lot:

$3500 FIRM