July 11th, 2003

Tom Lehrer is Smug

Another gem from Allan Sherman

When Benjamin Disraeli was Prime Minister of England,
And good old Queen Victoria was the Queen,
Whenever she would need him for official palace business,
Disraeli, he was nowhere to be seen.
She went down to 10 Downing Street,
The doorbell there she rang,
And when there was no answer, this is what the good Queen sang:

Won't you come home, Disraeli? Won't you come home?
Come home to Queen Victoria
Don't leave that House of Commons and that House of Lords
Just sittin waitin for ya
I'm gettin awful lomesome, cause all I do
Is sit here reading Ethan Frome
Now don't leave me flat,
The key to the palace is under the mat
Disraeli, won't you please come home?

Won't you come home, Disraeli? Won't you come home?
Come home to Queen Victoria
Don't leave that House of Commons and that House of Lords
Just sittin waitin for ya
You claim official business took you away
To Egypt, and Bombay, and Rome
Well, I ain't so certain
Cause you're the nineteenth-century Richard Burton
Disraeli, won't you please
Disraeli, won't you please
Disraeli, won't you please come home?
(I miss you, Dizzy!)
Disraeli, won't you please come home?
Tom Lehrer is Smug

(no subject)

The insurance company called today. The car's not totalled, they say, so they'll be sending a check for repairs plus the assessment along soon, so I can take it to a shop and have them do the assessing and working and then the company will pay for any extra stuff the shop needs to fix that the assessor did not see (most likely that front axle, hallelujah.)

Still, I'm slightly grumpy because it's now raining, and while the rain is most definitely welcome and needed around here, the car doesn't like driving in the rain right now and it's looking more and more like today should be a Restock The Fridge day. The cats are also doing their "there's no more food left in the world" dance so that adds to the amount what needs hauling, and the last time I lugged a 20 pound bag of cat food home on foot I had to sit down for several days and let my spine decompress. I guess I shouldn't have tried to see how far I could walk with it on my head.

On an automotive note (toot) I'm also slowly becoming accustomed to the uncomfortable notion that the intersection of Lowell and Summer is one of the unsafest intersections around, due mostly to the fact many people just don't notice the BIG HONKIN RED BLINKY OF "STOP NOW YOU FOOL" above them when they drive past. It's a four-way stop, folks. The light and signs are there for a reason -- to keep you from running the stop sign and hitting the other idiot who's running the stop sign in the other direction.

(Remember that classic? Guy gets into a taxicab at Logan, watches in horror as the cabbie immediately runs a red light. "What?" says the cabbie. "Listen, pallie, you're in Boston, this kinda thing is normal. My brother does this all the time." Another cross street, another intersection, another red light shamelessly run. "Don't worry!" says the cabbie. "I tell ya, it's OK to do this in Boston. My brother does it all the time." Then the passenger gets infuriated when the cabbie stops cold in front of a green light. "I had to!" protests the cabbie. "My brother might be coming the other way!")

Apparently everybody's brother's out driving a merry jaunt along Summer Street. There are at least three to five screeching halts heard around here a day, and I heard at least one accident happen (car going south on Summer got t-boned by someone running the stoplight on Lowell) and today I heard another close call. This time it was a tow truck versus some dude in a sedan. I heard the screech and while I didn't hear a crunch (and these days, if I hear a crunch anywhere I'm dashing to the window to make sure it's not my car) the drivers got out and exchanged insurance information and everything. And, true to form, the other cars on the road backed up behind the two and honked angrily, because honking is the best way to fix an accident and make everything oh-kay.

Ah well, at least it's better than television.
Tom Lehrer is Smug

(no subject)

Huh. Could've sworn I wrote this already, but hey. The Escape Velocity: Nova demo for the PC is out. Only a scant week or so ago I never would have thought that I'd hear those delicious words spoken, printed or otherwise, but here it is and here we go. I am just glad I have nothing to do this weekend.