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November 7th, 2004


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02:40 am
I'm sorry, I love you all, but if ever again someone asks me to go to Manray I shall have to say "Oh I am very sorry but tonight I am staying home sawing off random appendages with a serrated bread knife, because that is what I'd rather be doing than going to Manray."

Maybe sometime I'll explain things in depth, or at least complain about having the first crowd-induced panic attack that I've had in a very, very, very long time, but for now let's just say that I will never ever ever go back, to Manray or any other dance club, and I'm very sorry about it but that's just the way it has to be.

It wasn't all that bad, I'll give you that. There were certain parts of the evening where I felt like I was having a good time. I had a very nice conversation with a nice young lady and her friend outside the club that revolved around the exchange rate between cloves and regular cigarettes, and I listened to a nice drunken young man try to convince a nice drunken young lady to go to bed with him, and there was a nice couple who ducked back down the alley with such amorous intent that I got up and moved down the wall a bit so as to give them a little privacy once I heard slurpy sounds, and two nice girls ducked behind the dumpster across the street for I'm not sure what, and that all was very interesting. But when I was in the building I felt like the kid who'd broken his leg and had to watch from a plastic loungey chair while his friends got to splash around happily in the pool.

I mean, I'm not a dancer, I am just a big doofy-looking white guy who's so unaware of his physical surroundings on a cramped dance floor that he ends up apologizing to more strangers over the course of the evening than should be humanly necessary. Add to this the fact that the only amounts of booze in the world that can make me feel comfortable enough to even try are almost lethal, and the fact that -- yeah. I'm old. I'm a old large doofy-looking guy who doesn't even have a decent outfit for such activities. This social ritual is as alien to me. As it is not fun for me, I have no motives to do it. I understand some people have the same reaction to things I like, such as roller coasters ("How can you ride them?! They're so unsafe! You will fall out! It will fall over! You could never get me on one of those things!") so I decided to just keep quiet about it, so I wouldn't spoil anybody else's fun. If you can have fun there, go ahead, it's all for you.

And I liked seeing the freaks show up, and I liked the various outfits, and while I wasn't too thrilled with the fact that the videos they silently played on the monitors were for songs more fun, mostly, than the ones played by the DJ ("I Eat Cannibals! C'mon, they gotta play that one") I liked seeing them all the same. I forgot that Taco was one scary mammajama. But all in all we have to realize that there are certain environments and settings in which we do not thrive. Ones that are so adverse to our whole being that when we find one and experience it, we just have to say "Sorry, no. Never again."

Yet at the same time you eat your heart out over it because if everybody else is having fun and you're not having fun, obviously you're the problem. Well, that's how I felt last night. So I can't do that again. Because it makes the state of no-fun and exacerbates it beyond belief. And once I realized I was unable to breathe and had to go run outside (and congregate among the smokers) I realized it was over. But I couldn't walk home cause I hadn't told anybody and my bag was in Ari's car.

(The car, by the way, was a very exciting experience. Fitting 8 people in a Subaru is an adventure in and of itself, and when poor Ari bottomed out leaving the parking garage, the people on the sidewalk applauded.)

I'm sure I had a point to continue on, as it is a slow Sunday at work and I have nothing else to do, but frankly, I'd like to stop writing about it. It's over, I've realized there are things in the world I cannot do, through no fault of anybody's but my own, and I'm glad everybody else had a fun time because it sure seemed like it. I'll be all right after an ice cream sandwich and a bit of meditation.

(22 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


From:elynrae
Date:November 7th, 2004 03:46 pm (UTC)
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I feel exactly the same way about clubs.

/unhelpful comment
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From:surrealestate
Date:November 7th, 2004 04:37 pm (UTC)
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I'm sorry you spent so much of the night so unhappy. For the record, I don't think anyone would have been insulted if you'd left early -- certainly other folks did for various reasons.

I'm not a clubbing person myself. I'm generally not crazy about the normalization of every song into a loud beat with other stuff sorta faded back. I thought the music last night was reasonably good, though I made the same comment about the videos. Why weren't they playing those songs out loud? And damn, drinks are expensive. (When it was an issue, I also hated all the smoke.)

Mostly, though, I also take a rather dim view of my dancing and figure nobody else wants to see it, either.
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From:scholargipsy
Date:November 7th, 2004 05:45 pm (UTC)
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Mostly, though, I also take a rather dim view of my dancing and figure nobody else wants to see it, either.

For the record, so untrue.
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From:surrealestate
Date:November 7th, 2004 05:49 pm (UTC)
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Your opinion of me is hardly representative. :P

(Though I do appreciate it, of course.)
From:guxx
Date:November 7th, 2004 04:58 pm (UTC)
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For the record, I'm not generally a "clubber" either but I like to go out, enjoy a drink or two (and yes, those were expensive) and dance like a fool without caring I am being people-watched while people-watching myself. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on the perspective), most of my friends would prefer to go out to a bar than a club and even if I drag one to a club, they would be bored out of their minds yet not show it and worry about telling me and ruining my fun. Nonsense. If you wanted to go but needed your bag, you only had to tell me and either a bunch of us (who also had their stuff in my car) would collectively head out and drop you off and maybe go to someone's house after, or just call it a night. (Alternatively, as the door policy was no readmittance, I could have given you my keys, you could have gone for your bag and we'd swap the keys again through the door.) But, hey. It's water under the bridge. You're a very cool person, Mr. Ralph Spoilsport, and you do not spoil anything.
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From:derspatchel
Date:November 7th, 2004 05:54 pm (UTC)
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Well, I wasn't too worried that asking to go or to get into the car would spoil anything. But in the mindset and mood that I was in then, I'd be loudly and angrily complaining about the ordeal as soon as I had a chance, using phrases like "burn it all down" and the like, and I didn't want to give myself that chance. I always feel it's much better to just shut up about it at the time and wait for my righteous anger to cool -- and then complain about it. Shit. I hope I didn't come across as blaming you or anyone else, other than myself, for keeping me there.
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From:surrealestate
Date:November 7th, 2004 06:07 pm (UTC)
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I always feel it's much better to just shut up about it at the time and wait for my righteous anger to cool

If only you'd felt that way earlier, the Archibishop would still be alive today!
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From:derspatchel
Date:November 7th, 2004 06:16 pm (UTC)
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When you think about it, it does go against the grain to send an Archbishop clubbing.
From:guxx
Date:November 7th, 2004 08:10 pm (UTC)
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I hope I didn't come across as blaming you or anyone else, other than myself, for keeping me there.

Don't worry. I know I didn't keep you there. I also know if you really wanted to leave, you really would have left.

As Ferris Bueller once said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it."
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From:phonemonkey
Date:November 7th, 2004 05:40 pm (UTC)
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Definitely go with the Vitamin I.

As stupid as it sounds, I did actually feel a whole lot better on Friday once I'd left work and got myself that ice-cream.
From:katre50
Date:November 7th, 2004 06:20 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, back in college I used to get dragged to clubs by friends, and I had pretty much the exact same reaction every time. Except that my excuse was just that I was a doofy-looking no-dancing white dude, I couldn't claim old then yet.
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From:cheezdanish
Date:November 7th, 2004 08:53 pm (UTC)
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So I guess this means that my plan to drag you to Studio 54 is right out? ;)
From:archangelsk
Date:November 8th, 2004 12:39 am (UTC)
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Take him to Coyote Ugly instead!
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From:derspatchel
Date:November 8th, 2004 03:50 am (UTC)
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Hey now, a certain Cheez is already in trouble enough. Don't need to exacerbate no sitchyation, no sir!
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From:cheezdanish
Date:November 8th, 2004 03:59 am (UTC)
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I wouldn't go to Coyote Ugly if my life depended on it. It's a 50 foot by 20 foot hole in the wall, packed every available inch with people. Definite fire hazard.

And I dint do nuffin. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
From:guxx
Date:November 8th, 2004 04:05 am (UTC)
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...and I thought the Foggy Goggle on a Thursday night when packed by college co-eds was a fire hazard...
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From:derspatchel
Date:November 8th, 2004 04:53 am (UTC)
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Imagine -- a bar named after a crummy movie named after a crummy dive in NYC!

THE MIND, SHE BOGGLES
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From:cheezdanish
Date:November 8th, 2004 04:58 am (UTC)
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Viva Las Vegas, baby.
From:moxie_fawn
Date:November 8th, 2004 09:59 am (UTC)
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People really go to Coyote Ugly? And the bartenders really dance? Like the way some waiters really sing special birthday songs in chain restaurants?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
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From:antiquated_tory
Date:November 7th, 2004 11:16 pm (UTC)
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Allow me to echo Elynrae's unhelpful comment--I am grand when it comes to crowded beerswilling foodeating chaotic gatherings of friends in restaurant/pub spaces too small to hold them but clubs in general strike me as one of the levels of Dante's inferno that he left out. Unless there is an actual band playing, and they're good. Or the club is of unscary smallness. And I know people there. Or they have a really nice chillout room. Or its ska. Anyway, I'm still with you on this one, Spatch.
From:moxie_fawn
Date:November 8th, 2004 10:00 am (UTC)
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Also,
Taco video!!!
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From:earthling177
Date:November 10th, 2004 08:47 am (UTC)
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Well, it was my first time at Manray too.

I had fun, mostly because I was talking to people. I will say that while I stayed on the sofa, sitting and swaying to the music, I think I had just as much fun as the people dancing but I was not hurting next day. ;-)

That said, I think I would have had more fun if it was not as loud and if it had something to eat. I had no idea their policy is "no re-admittance", partly 'cuz other places let you in and out and partly because I supposed that that was how the smokers were able to get outside and back, so clearly I was wrong and they must have some area for the smokers.

Lest I be misunderstood, I'm not complaining we went. I'd go again if a group of people wanted to. But I was surprised by how over-hyped that place has been... I've been hearing about it for years, and people keep saying how it's so much better than other places, so I had high expectations. Granted, I have not been to a place like that in US ever, and I've been here for over 10 years. Maybe I misremember discos I've been to in my youth. The one thing Manray has that is way better than the discos of my youth is that you can breath inside, it's not too hot or too cold and no smoke -- discos in my youth were filled with smoke. Either way, no biggie.

Still, sorry to hear you had no fun, I hope we find another place we can all enjoy next time!

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