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September 14th, 2004


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01:56 pm - It's like this, Peanut
Hey, did you order a patty melt?

Yeah, is there a problem?

Well, it's more of a misconception. I'm afraid you don't know what a patty melt is. "Patty melt" not only implies what it is, but also how it's prepared. The cheese is melted on the patty.

Yeah, I like the cheese melted on the bread.

Well, that'd be a bread melt. Or, as it's commonly known, a grilled cheese. Howzabout I make you a nice grilled cheese?

I don't want a grilled cheese. I want a patty melt, with kraut, with the cheese melted on the bread.

I'm sorry, I can't do that.

What do you mean you can't do that?

Well, you give in to one little thing -- you compromise, you compromise, you compromise, 'til you're a shell of a man beaten down, and you stand for nothing.

I want to talk to the manager.

A dish is a collection of flavors. Consistencies. You start swapping ingredients in that carefully-thought out melange, it's like fuckin with a Jenga tower of taste. I'm concerned you don't know what you're asking for.

I'm asking for--

Well, kraut on Der Patty Melt is akin to knocking that tower down with a wrecking ball.

Well, why is it called "Der Patty Melt" when there ain't no kraut on it?

"Der" is German for "the." The Waffle Haus. The Patty Melt.

Well, I want der fuckin patty melt with der fuckin cheese on der fuckin bread with der fuckin kraut on it. You got it?

No, you got it. On "der" house.

thanks, mo


(8 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


From:(Anonymous)
Date:September 14th, 2004 12:07 pm (UTC)
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I wish I could remember to watch that show. I caught the first few episodes, and I remember that scene. Ah, good times.

-TJ
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From:captain_slinky
Date:September 14th, 2004 02:07 pm (UTC)
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You know, every time I read one of your posts I read it with that same Mandy Patinkin "Rube" voice. It just *fits*.

Did you *know* that your inner voice was Rube?
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:September 14th, 2004 07:39 pm (UTC)
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Every day I feel more and more like Rube. It's a good thing.
[User Picture]
From:lentilstew
Date:September 14th, 2004 02:53 pm (UTC)
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Wait. What was this from?
[User Picture]
From:luckimunki
Date:September 14th, 2004 07:40 pm (UTC)
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Yeah. That's what I was going to say.
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:September 14th, 2004 07:47 pm (UTC)
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Dead Like Me. The patty melt rant is from an episode where Mandy Patinkin's character becomes a dogmatic part-time chef.

I'm really digging the second season. Just watched Sunday's episode and was very entertained.
[User Picture]
From:lentilstew
Date:September 15th, 2004 01:21 am (UTC)
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Well, that's some amazing dialogue. I'll check it out if I get the chance.
[User Picture]
From:antiquated_tory
Date:September 16th, 2004 02:08 am (UTC)
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I'll check it out myself. If it comes here. And it isn't dubbed in Czech. Which has no articles.

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