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September 8th, 2004


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11:54 pm - I AM A GUY AND I BOUGHT NEW SHOES
I bought new shoes today. You probably don't understand what a big thing in life it is for me to buy new shoes. The only thing I buy with less frequency is, uh. Probably furniture. I never buy furniture. And I rarely buy shoes. I usually only get new shoes if the old pair has worn out beyond the point of usefulness. Yes, I said "old pair" and by "old pair" I mean "Hello I have one pair of shoes." (Actually, I have two; my everyday shoes and a pair of dress shoes that I rarely use because it means I have to polish them and find the black socks which I think the cats threw under the dresser because they looked like black mice or something.)

Apparently this one-pair phenomenon is a "guy" thing. But I hate "guy" things. I'd rather just call it a "crazy person" thing. I don't like people who automatically and with great polarity categorize everyday personality traits by gender simply because of the "AM I RITE GALS OR AM I RITE" mentality normally associated with stand-up comedians or the authors of those horrible Mars-And-Venus books. Although I have a Y chromosome and the appropriate dangly bits that go with it, I ask for directions if lost and I put the toilet seat down after using the bathroom and if you want the remote control, go right ahead and use it, but if I see something on I'll ask to go back so we can see what's up. At any rate, I think it's useless to perpetuate a gender rift that way. I'd rather there not be a gender rift. We're much cooler to each other without one.

Oh, yes. Footwear. I bought a new pair tonight because my old pair of boots were going right out. They were winter boots but Mom had given them to me as a Christmas present last year when I was broke and so poor that I dreamed about eating ramen, so I as a thrifty Yankee wore them all throughout this year. As a result I walked three winters' worth of walking in nine months, so they had cracked and split and the heels wore down due to the way I walk and by the end of it I was hobbling around with almost reverse arch support. The lining in the boots had gone and they ate up all my socks. I had holes in every pair. It was embarassing and uncomfortable and on bad days, every step was pain. I got used to it, though. I had to. I had no other choice.

Until tonight when I realized OH HEY NO WAIT when I was at the shoe store. Kristen and Lynn were running pell-mell inside, Lynn trying on orange Chucks and truly hideous Dutch clog shoes, and I was over in the Manly Men Shoes For Men Who Are Manly section and I saw a nice pair of New Balance walkers. And they were on sale. And they had 'em in my size. And they were in black. I don't like white sneakers. And since I bought a pair, Lynn's hideous Dutch cloggy things were half-price, so we all won.

And oh lordy are them shoes comfortable. There's still a bit of breaking-in pain and I haven't worn anything but high-tops for a long time so the feeling of nothing around the ankles is kinda weird but let me tell you it is so worth it to not have a nice stabbing pain in the heel every time I take a step. I'll see how they hold up tomorrow during my usual walking rounds. I think they're gonna do just fine. The best part was I had this incredible back-to-school rush, as I used to associate new pairs of shoes with a new school year. Oh how we could dash up them junior high steps in comfortable new PF Flyers! You really could run a mile in under a minute with those beauties and their new soles and cushions and stuff. Sure, by the end of next summer they'd be beat and dead and more than likely covered in grass clippings from the lawnmowing summer job, but that was OK cause you'd get brand-new ones just in time for the first homeroom bell of the year.

Actually, the best part of this purchase was that I also bought new socks because who wants to wear ratty old socks in new shoes, and -- and this is the most important part -- to purge myself of the object empathy I knew would hold me back, I deposited both the old socks and old boots in garbage bins before making my way back home. Now all I have are the new shoes and that's the way it should be.

I realize this might very well be one of the most mundane posts I've written here, but I'm psyched. New shoes, goddammit! New shoes!

(23 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:lillibet
Date:September 8th, 2004 09:34 pm (UTC)
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New shoes are a beautiful thing. Congratulations!
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From:pecosy
Date:September 8th, 2004 09:44 pm (UTC)
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this was a nice post.
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From:invisibelle
Date:September 8th, 2004 09:52 pm (UTC)
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Heh, the tone of your posts really reminds me of spinooti. Now, don't fault me if this turns out to be one of those things where your humor styles are so similar that you can't help but absolutely hate each other with fiery passion.

I'm just sayin'. The way that you're funny reminds me of the way that she's funny. :)
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:September 9th, 2004 09:16 pm (UTC)
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I like her style. And she's got a wit so dry you could make martinis from it. I could not detest that which I admire, could I? Besides, like, simultaneously admiring and detesting television's Regis Philbin, or something?
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From:quodlibetic
Date:September 8th, 2004 10:28 pm (UTC)
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I tend to be that way about bras.

Oh, the shame.
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From:annilita
Date:September 9th, 2004 10:26 am (UTC)
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Mmmmmm... New bra feeling...
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From:plumtreeblossom
Date:September 9th, 2004 03:57 am (UTC)
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Those must have been the old black shoes that we covered with white fabric for Philip Glass. This was a nice memorial to them.
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From:derspatchel
Date:September 9th, 2004 09:21 pm (UTC)
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Which, the writeup or the tossing in the garbage can?

There was a little speech given during the walk outside in the parking lot to the garbage can, too. Something about "We used to go everywhere and we did everything together, but now you only cause me pain so it has to end." And then someone made an astute observation about how that's very much like certain breakups.

What is it about footwear?!
From:dcart
Date:September 9th, 2004 04:36 am (UTC)
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The shoes I wear everyday are 6 year old Birkenstocks.

I have a pair of older birkenstock clogs that I wear in bad weather.

I have a pair of Docs that I bought in Boston that I only wear as either dress shoes or up-north-in-the-snow shoes.

I have sneakers that I wear at the gym.

I have black sneaker like Payless shoes that I wear very rarely that I bought in Medford.

I have cute, black dressy sneaker like shoes that I wear on dates or to dance clubs.

But I'm a guy dammit.
[User Picture]
From:annilita
Date:September 9th, 2004 10:27 am (UTC)
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You're a guy, and you described your shoes as "cute".
From:dcart
Date:September 9th, 2004 10:58 am (UTC)
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Hence the "dammit". :)


At least I got past my mid-90s multiple pairs of Vans and Airwalks to match my various shirts phases. I can't even believe I'm admitting that.
[User Picture]
From:song72
Date:September 9th, 2004 05:34 am (UTC)

shoe euphoria

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Your shoe enthusiam reminds me of a friend who wears a very odd size (extra wide I think) in a reasonably small size. He usually just buys a size up.

While he was on vacation he found nice new tennis shoes while on vacation and was so excited that he actually called to tell me. I'm not even the SO or family. Just a friend. Now that is shoe excitement. :)
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From:marphod
Date:September 9th, 2004 08:18 am (UTC)
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Hrm.

I've got 5 pairs of shoes.
1) My everyday sneakers.
2) my old, no longer water-resistant sneakers (for working out, and the like)
3) my sandles (for warm days)
4) My curling shoes
5) my dress shoes

I also have a pair of garfield slippers, but I rarely wear them, and they are more for the Garfield aspect than the shoe aspect.

I think owning about 4-5 pairs is typical and covers most contigencies. I don't get the "I've got a dozen pairs of shoes and nothing matches" thing, but I also don't think I could last very well with just a pair of tennies.
[User Picture]
From:androidqueen
Date:September 9th, 2004 08:54 am (UTC)
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my shoes:

1. running shoes.
2. tevas, new, for warm days.
3. $5 flip-flops, which i will never wear again because they tore my feet
4. steel-toed docs, which i need a new shoelace for
5. "nice black shoes" for "nice black occasions"
6. intermediate black shoes which don't velcro right ($4)
7. army boots, good for snow, and just about everything else
8. knee-high boots, were free, but are falling apart now
9. brown buckled clunkers, for brown days, also beginning to fall apart
10. brown leather platform sandals, mother's, for brown days with a 70s bent
11. cleats, for rugby, football, soccer, maybe i should wear to kickball
12. "nice white sandals" for "nice white occasions"
13. shiny-ass 6" black stillettos, for "not-so-nice black occasions"

wow, i have a lot of shoes. i must have turned into a girl somewhere along the line.
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From:lillibet
Date:September 9th, 2004 10:07 am (UTC)
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Throw away the flip-flops.
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From:androidqueen
Date:September 9th, 2004 10:18 am (UTC)
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seriously. i wore them to nyc 2 weeks ago, and my feet still haven't healed entirely. it's the whole reason i bought the tevas. i needed some casual walking sandals.

i should throw away 2, 8, and 9. and maybe 6, if i can't (or don't) epoxy them.
[User Picture]
From:beana_1977
Date:September 9th, 2004 09:15 am (UTC)

shoes

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I'm ashamed to post how many pairs of shoes I own... Let's just say that it's between Androidqueen's 13 pairs and Carrie from Sex and the City's over 100... is that specific enough?

AND it's not like I acquire the them... THEY acquire ME!

Ok I just have a major shopping addiction that includes but is not limited to shoes and make-up... dear god I'm such a girlie girl!
From:lydian
Date:September 9th, 2004 09:26 am (UTC)
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I saw you and your shoes at Porter Square this morning, and I was going to call out "HI ROB HI BOY THOSE SURE ARE NICE SHOES," but then I remembered I was wearing a suit, and I try never to let people I know see me wearing a suit, no sir, not if I can help it.
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From:derspatchel
Date:September 9th, 2004 09:17 pm (UTC)
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Funny you should mention that because I was not wearing a suit. I am also surprised you didn't try to send my cellphone mail, either, you crazy shortmail stalker you.
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From:betweenstations
Date:September 9th, 2004 09:52 am (UTC)
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Shoes are good, because escalators on the T are dangerous without them. Imagine the ickiness if you de-toe-pitated yourself on a T escalator.
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From:daisyglaze
Date:September 9th, 2004 10:42 am (UTC)
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I won't even Go There w/r/t the amount of shoes I own and how about 3 pairs of them are actually comfortable/wearable for any period of time past 2 hours or so, but I do know how great the New Shoe feeling is.

So yay for new shoes!
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From:lillibet
Date:September 9th, 2004 11:04 am (UTC)
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OK, because I hadn't done it in a while, I went up and counted my shoes:

cowboy boots
black waterproof workboot-style boots that I haven't broken in
black suede snowboots that leak but are very comfy
black sude steel-toed workboots that have no tread, but J. thinks are sexy
black strappy dress sandals
black hi-top sandals
blue suede sandals
black tote sandals (which I should pitch, they make my feet itch)
tan tote sandals (ditto)
beige sling-backs
black flat sandals
birkenstocks (which serve as my house-shoes)
red shoes (whaddaya call the slip-on, not-quite-sneaker things that are popular these days?)
brown shoes (ditto)
blue shoes (ditto)
black lace-ups (need replacing, the inner sole came off and now they're sticky)
Docs
burgundy boots (falling apart, but I love them)
black loafers
brown sneakers (rarely worn, they just don't seem to break in and feel clunky)
white Mary Jane pumps (my wedding shoes)
cranberry pumps
tan open-toed shoes (I hate 'em, but they're the only thing that goes with one of my dresses)
tan sneakers (an emergency purchase when I forgot my gym shoes)
espadrilles
navy pumps
black flats
4" black suede ankle boots
blue flats
brown pumps
black pumps
more black pumps (because the other ones are wearing out, but still okay)
brown flats
black suede loafers
black flat painting shoes
brown shoes
black dress lace-ups
white Pony sneakers (also painting shoes)

What's that? 38. Not too bad. I was up over 50 before I left California, but got rid of a lot of my 80s shoes then (who really needs lavendar corduroy pumps in this day and age?). A lot of the shoes I don't wear these days because I'm not working in an office and because Jason has no appreciation for heels. But I might!
[User Picture]
From:lindito
Date:September 9th, 2004 04:40 pm (UTC)

schoenen

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i have a lot of shoes.

but i'm gay, so.


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