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EXCELSIOR, YOU FATHEAD!

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August 8th, 2004


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02:53 am - no
CHINATOWN T STOP
9:45 PM

ME: I shall put this token in the turnstile.
TOKEN: I am going into the turnstile.
ME: Now I shall push the turnstile and walk at the same time so as to walk, in one fluid motion, through the turnstile and onto the T platform.
TURNSTILE: I shall refuse to turn.
ME HAND ON THE TURNSTILE: I too shall remain immobile as the rest of my body walks through the turnstile.
ME SENSITIVE AREA: Oh look now we are being brought into quick and swift contact with the closed hand on the turnstile.
ME: Ow, sure glad that didn't hurt.
five minutes pass
ME: Ok, now that hurts.
ME SENSITIVE AREA: Ok, now this really hurts.
ME: I want to throw up.

ANOTHER MAN'S FERTILITY LOST THANKS TO THE MASSACHUSETTS BAY TRANSIT AUTHORITY

ME SENSITIVE AREA: You do realize this is the most action we've seen in a very long time, don't you?
ME: Shut up. Just-- shut up.

(7 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:annilita
Date:August 8th, 2004 12:28 am (UTC)
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Is it wrong that I found this so funny?

I learned by watching the episode of King of the Hill where Bobby kicks Hank in the nads that frozen pees make for a good ice bag for that particular area. HTH, FBS.
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:August 8th, 2004 05:09 am (UTC)
(Link)
Oh, go right ahead and be mirthful about it -- enough time has elapsed (and pain subsided) that I can begin the Healing Power of Laughter too, or something. That wacky Norman Cousins.
[User Picture]
From:phonemonkey
Date:August 8th, 2004 10:04 am (UTC)
(Link)
Oh dear! Poor Spatchbollocks!
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:August 8th, 2004 06:59 pm (UTC)
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That may be the funniest word of the day.
From:dimloep_suum
Date:August 8th, 2004 09:18 pm (UTC)
(Link)
And the New Curse Word of the Day is...

Spatchbollocks!

*shame* Sorry.
[User Picture]
From:tigerbright
Date:August 8th, 2004 03:28 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Oh dear. Feeling better today, I hope? I felt much sympathy for you upon seeing your face when you sat down.
From:moxie_fawn
Date:August 9th, 2004 10:18 am (UTC)
(Link)
*snorts coffee*
That story just set the tone for the day and I'm all smiles. Thank you :)

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