June 9th, 2004
|11:24 pm - CABBAGE PATCH RIOT|
Archival footage of Canadian Cabbage Patch Kid store riot in 1983!
The fun begins around 2:30 in.
Our intrepid reporter was "really shaken" by it all -- he "had to move out of the way!"
The reporter: what a fucking quiche-eater.
I bet he really enjoyed Thirtysomehting, too. Never drinks red wine.
Is probably cheated on by both his wife *and* his dog.
The parents: JESUS FUCK WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? DID YOU GET LOBOTOMIES WHEN YOU SPAWNED, YOU FUCKS?
See?! See what Santa has done to us all?!
Parents would rather trample each other than explain to their kids that they've been lieing to them for the past 6 years.
"Santa had to step on five people to get this for you! He told me himself."
...I got one that year...