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Jackass in a Camry (I know, it's serious) - EXCELSIOR, YOU FATHEAD!

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December 18th, 2009


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04:45 pm - Jackass in a Camry (I know, it's serious)
A few days back someone on one of my Internet E-Friend Thingos gave the following, now paraphrased, rule which every driver should heed, but not enough do:
The car in front of you has stopped for a reason.
The reason itself doesn't matter. The car has stopped.
And if you don't know the reason then you have absolutely no right to nudge 'em forward or speed around them.
I say this because about 15 minutes ago I nearly got creamed on College Ave trying to cross on the crosswalk by the old folks' home. The lane of traffic on my side was already stopped and the light was still red. The car in front of me had thoughtfully stopped before the crosswalk and let me cross.

There was some oncoming traffic in the other lane, so I stood in the middle of the crosswalk and waited for someone to stop. The first car did stop, and the guy did the little "go 'head, go 'head" motion for me. So I went 'head, and that's when I met the guy in the Camry who was behind the first car and who had decided that a fellow driver stopping at a crosswalk was completely unacceptable. This fellow leaned on the horn, passed the first car on the right and sped through the crosswalk, coming within a few inches of certain body parts that I'd like to keep intact (toes, feet, legs, torso, head, tingly bits, all those things.) I only slowed down because I heard the horn. If I'd been keeping the pace I'd started, I'm reasonably sure things would have been much, much uglier.

So one point for the courtesy of blaring a horn, an award not usually given, but negative eighty million points for everything else.

I don't give two wet farts if the Camry didn't see me in the crosswalk. What matters is that the first car did, and it stopped, and cars stop for a goddamned reason. Speeding around a stopped car is going to invite trouble, possibly in the form of death or dismemberment. In this case however it resulted in a very angry man advising the Jackass in a Camry that the Jackass' birth was wholly illegitimate and, furthermore, he probably enjoys carnal relations with the woman who gave said illegitimate birth to him.

I'd have gotten his license and called the police officer's station, only my extended middle finger was obscuring the plate as he sped off. Hopefully he decided to accept my invitation to dine upon human waste, and was off to find a good source.

I haven't had to flip the bird at anyone (and mean it) for a very very long time, and I am disappointed that my streak has come to an end. I am most disappointed that the fellow really needed the Double Deuce, only one hand was holding a bag full of groceries and was thus unprepared to be as expressive as necessary.

It really hasn't been a good day all around, and this just compounded things right to the point of Getting Really Angry. Fortunately this time around I was able to instill in myself a heaping dose of Righteous Indignation and, most importantly, I was able to aim that Indignation directly at the sonofabitch who deserved it. No projection or transference today! Whoopee!

I am also still quite cranky that I didn't find anybody to go see The Slutcracker with. It's really not one of those things I'd go see alone. Thankfully I saw it last year so I know the story.

(12 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:juldea
Date:December 18th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC)
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...were you looking for a companion for the Slutcracker? 'Cause I would've been quite happy to join you, had you broadcast this need.
[User Picture]
From:joyeous
Date:December 18th, 2009 11:18 pm (UTC)
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I saw two cars get in an accident the exact same way. One car had stopped to let someone trying to inch out of a driveway out, while someone else went around. Granted, it was not the person who went around's fault...considering it was a two-lane road. This is why when it's a two lane road, and someone tries to be nice, I never go (be it in car or on foot) because the person in the other lane can't see! Now, in a crosswalk, that's a different story, because you definitely had the right-of-way. But when cars stop to let other cars go, just to "be nice," it's actually pretty dangerous, and there have been plenty of times I've just motioned to the person, no keep going, because I'm not going to risk pulling out until ALL the cars have passed.

Also, my co-worker got smashed by someone passing ON THE LEFT when she was waiting to TURN LEFT with her blinker on. The guy apparently yelled at her too. And when she reported it to the police, they said that according to MA law, the parties were each 50% at fault. WTF?
[User Picture]
From:ratatosk
Date:December 18th, 2009 11:43 pm (UTC)
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This is pretty much my experience trying to cross College, too -- push the button for the crossing in front of the library, wait for the light to turn red, wait while three cars ignore me and run the red light, hurry across when I think I can get away with it. At least I've never had anybody try to go around a car that stopped for me.
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:December 19th, 2009 05:29 am (UTC)
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Oh, yeah. I once saw three cars from each direction blow the red light after the Walk light went on (Morrison turned right onto College, the guy coming up College from Davis turned right onto Morrison, and the guy heading down College into Davis blew straight through the light.)

It was like hitting the trifecta of bad drivers.
[User Picture]
From:bkdelong
Date:December 18th, 2009 11:54 pm (UTC)
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Glad you're OK. Stay safe.
[User Picture]
From:annilita
Date:December 19th, 2009 12:21 am (UTC)
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A student at Smith was killed while I was there because of this exact thing.
[User Picture]
From:wring
Date:December 19th, 2009 02:38 am (UTC)
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and that kid that Rebecca Gayheart killed.
[User Picture]
From:ruthling
Date:December 19th, 2009 01:07 am (UTC)
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that happens all the farking time and it pisses me off. Then again, some people who stop for you and wave you across aren't thinking things through either. In any case, I hope that asshole Camry driver ends up in a ditch somewhere.
[User Picture]
From:rosalux
Date:December 19th, 2009 05:03 am (UTC)
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there's a phrase for those people (the "wave you through into danger" folks): Annoying Samaritans.

There's this place where our bike trail crosses a 4 lane road and there's a blinking yellow light instead of a real stoplight. About 50% of the time, 2 or 3 of the 4 lanes' cars stop, and the one that doesn't stop doesn't even look around to see who they nearly creamed.
[User Picture]
From:minkrose
Date:December 19th, 2009 01:08 am (UTC)
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I'm sorry to hear about this! People are very rushed and it is silly.

Andy & I had a single empty seat next to us for the slutcracker since everyone came in pairs or more. I was thinking how we should have had a third person so that no one would have to split up to sit with us (we ended up with one half of a couple who kept standing together during the breaks). I wish I'd told more people when we were going - you could have come with us.
[User Picture]
From:ralpheman
Date:December 19th, 2009 02:44 am (UTC)
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I have made a bad habit that I started in my bicycling days. If I am that close to an @ssh*le, I reach out and punch their window (hoping it breaks). It never does, but then I think it isn't such a good idea when they jump out of their cars and come after me. So far, I have always brought them to reason. You just tried to kill me, do you really want to add an assault charge to attempted murder?

I am sorry you encountered this!
[User Picture]
From:chanaleh
Date:December 19th, 2009 03:32 am (UTC)
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Dude. I would TOTALLY have gone with you to the Slutcracker. Why didn't you say something?
...There's no matinee Sunday, is there? :-}

Well, OK, but the next Babydolls show, you're totally on the hook.

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