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IT'S A CLASSY-ASS THURSDAY - EXCELSIOR, YOU FATHEAD!

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March 12th, 2009


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09:31 am - IT'S A CLASSY-ASS THURSDAY
There just ain't enough class in this world anymore. Thankfully some folks are stepping up to help get rid of the remainder.

ONE! The bar at the Park Plaza in Boston (the Park Freakin' Plaza, of all places) recently announced a Red Sox-themed drink menu which it will offer during games. One of the undoubtedly overpriced boozicle concoctions you can get at the Park is the A-Roid Cocktail, which is basically a shot of tequila with a chaser of tomato juice. The tomato juice is delivered to you in a syringe. Adam Gaffin at Universal Hub reports that "...state law prohibits the establishment from supplying patrons with a needle to go along with the syringe" so I'm not quite sure how you're supposed to inject the tomato juice into your buttock, but hey, where there's a will, there's a way.

Thankfully those who do not wish to pony up the cash for this can easily make this drink in the comfort and privacy of their own home. (Kids, you may want to ask your parents for help finding syringes.)

TWO! David Hayter is the guy who wrote the screenplay for Watchmen. David Hayter would very much like it if you went and saw his movie, of which he is very proud. David Hayter also wants to let you know that if you have already seen the film, good on you, but he would like you to go see it again. David Hayter obviously has points in this movie and is probably late with the rent. David Hayter is so emphatic in his argument that he uses some rather unconventional rhetoric:
Because face it. All this time…You there, with the Smiley-face pin. Admit it.

All this time, you've been waiting for a director who was going to hit you in the face with this story. To just crack you in the jaw, and then bend you over the pool table with this story. With its utterly raw view of the darkest sides of human nature, expressed through its masks of action and beauty and twisted good intentions. Like a fry-basket full of hot grease in the face. Like the Comedian on the Grassy Knoll. I know, I know…

You say you don't like it. You say you've got issues. I get it.

And yet… You'll be thinking about this film, down the road. It'll nag at you. How it was rough and beautiful. How it went where it wanted to go, and you just hung on. How it was thoughtful and hateful and bleak and hilarious. And for Jackie Earle Haley.

Trust me. You'll come back, eventually. Just like Sally.
David Hayter has just claimed that his film attempted to rape you, and he knows you liked it so much that you'll go back.

David Hayter is one class act!

Happy Thursday, everybody. Now go out there and out-class the world.

(27 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:tansu
Date:March 12th, 2009 01:54 pm (UTC)
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Well, if Alan Moore hasn't already put a hex on him...
[User Picture]
From:littlegirltoast
Date:March 12th, 2009 01:59 pm (UTC)
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...then I very well might.
[User Picture]
From:ron_newman
Date:March 12th, 2009 02:01 pm (UTC)
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Trust me. You'll come back, eventually. Just like Sally.

Umm ... this is supposed to make me want to see the film? Ugh.
[User Picture]
From:ilovehpl
Date:March 12th, 2009 02:03 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I was thinking I was going to go see this, but I'm not interested in being cracked in the jaw or being bent over the pool table.
[User Picture]
From:thetathx1138
Date:March 12th, 2009 02:35 pm (UTC)
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Setting aside his hyperbole, if you liked the trailers, you'll like the movie.
[User Picture]
From:surrealestate
Date:March 12th, 2009 03:05 pm (UTC)
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If you're a fan of the graphic novel, see the movie.

(Yes, of course it's a horrid thing to say, but I'd like to think he was joking.)
[User Picture]
From:ilovehpl
Date:March 12th, 2009 07:19 pm (UTC)
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Oh, I'm enough of a fan that I probably will see it sooner or later, it's just ... Christ, what an asshole!
[User Picture]
From:littlegirltoast
Date:March 13th, 2009 04:39 am (UTC)
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Being a joke scarcely improves a horrid thing to say!
[User Picture]
From:cheezdanish
Date:March 12th, 2009 02:05 pm (UTC)
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Whatever happened to old values,
And fine morals,
And good breeding?
Now no one even says oops
When they're passing their gas!

Whatever happened to class?
[User Picture]
From:dpolicar
Date:March 12th, 2009 02:28 pm (UTC)
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I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
[User Picture]
From:thetathx1138
Date:March 12th, 2009 02:35 pm (UTC)
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....

"Sooooo, Sally can wait...she's know it's too late as we're walking on by..."
From:fmi_agent
Date:March 12th, 2009 02:47 pm (UTC)
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Eeeaggh.
[User Picture]
From:goldsquare
Date:March 12th, 2009 03:01 pm (UTC)
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Attention whores - we haz them.
[User Picture]
From:batyatoon
Date:March 12th, 2009 03:02 pm (UTC)
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And then you will have a BEAUTIFUL BABY FANFIC.

Or something.



Yeah, uh.
[User Picture]
From:del_the_psycho
Date:March 12th, 2009 03:12 pm (UTC)
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Snake? SNAKE?! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!
[User Picture]
From:reveritas
Date:March 12th, 2009 04:10 pm (UTC)
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Sally?

How come nobody else has demanded the details on the other Red Sox drinks? Is there a Varitekbomb? A Slowell Gin Fizz?
[User Picture]
From:gee_tar
Date:March 12th, 2009 04:54 pm (UTC)
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David Hayter really needs to shut up for his own good.
[User Picture]
From:dcart
Date:March 12th, 2009 06:41 pm (UTC)
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He's probably just going through his white powder phase.
[User Picture]
From:giantfightbot
Date:March 12th, 2009 07:11 pm (UTC)
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I guess the checks for voiceover work as Solid Snake aren't coming in like they used to?

(Unless that's a different David Hayter...)
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:March 12th, 2009 07:38 pm (UTC)
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Same dude. That's the weird thing about it.
From:huskyscotsman
Date:March 12th, 2009 07:46 pm (UTC)
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Wow. Got to admire his diversity, if not a lot else at this point.
[User Picture]
From:maga_dogg
Date:March 12th, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
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"Hey guys! I figured out what this book's Meaning is! It's flamebait!"
[User Picture]
From:mmcirvin
Date:March 13th, 2009 01:37 am (UTC)
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You know, way back when Watchmen the comic was actually running, the guy in my dorm who kept pestering me to read it was a major-league creep, a manipulative sociopath who treated women in a skeevy manner. He was also strangely interested in crackpot science and thought I'd be attracted to the advanced physics in the story of old Doc Manhattan. It sort of biased me against the thing.

For some reason, this reminds me of that.
[User Picture]
From:metahacker
Date:March 13th, 2009 03:55 am (UTC)
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People who only get the surface message of the piece? ("Beat up women! Then they'll want to sleep with you. And then weird stuff happens, but it's incomprehensible, so get back to the assault and rape.")
[User Picture]
From:mmcirvin
Date:March 14th, 2009 01:41 am (UTC)
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I never actually read Watchmen apart from a few pages, so I didn't realize it at the time, but reading the discussion of the movie's plot makes me think that some of that was actually going on. He also may not have realized that Manhattan's people-as-collections-of-particles worldview was being examined critically, or that all the business about the Intrinsic Field Subtractor was essentially parodic.

But for the writer of the screenplay to not get some of these things, even though people are obviously taking them away from the film, would be very strange indeed.
[User Picture]
From:littlegirltoast
Date:March 13th, 2009 04:44 am (UTC)
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What is with how people just decided that as of all of a sudden it is no problem to think you are madcap hilarious with rape???

Did they cancel all rape and discontinue its trauma for survivors in a sweeping gesture so now it's no big deal anymore?

Because thank goodness for that if so!

Otherwise: it is FUCKING OFF time.
[User Picture]
From:redtheblue
Date:March 14th, 2009 08:12 am (UTC)
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Wow, David Hayter, what an in-your-face, phunky phresh slice of humor from someone with absolutely nothing to prove.

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