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CAT VERSUS ICE CREAM - EXCELSIOR, YOU FATHEAD!

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December 12th, 2008


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10:04 am - CAT VERSUS ICE CREAM
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

(Mr. S. and Miss V. are sitting on the sofa enjoying tasty ice cream they brought home from JP Licks. Enter THE CAT.)

THE CAT
Hey, that's ice cream.

MR. S.
Yes it is.

THE CAT
I want some.

MR. S.
No.

THE CAT
(getting all up in his face)
I want some.

MR. S.
Sorry. I asked for cat poison ice cream, so I'm afraid you can't have any.

MISS V.
Oh now you're just being mean.

THE CAT
(suddenly deciding MISS V. is his bestest friend in the whole universe)
You have defended my honor. In gratitude, I should get some of your ice cream too.

MISS V.
Oh, here.

(MISS V. carefully takes a little bit of ice cream on her spoon and deftly drips some onto the nose of THE CAT. THE CAT promptly licks the ice cream off his nose and is temporarily satiated.)

MR. S.
Hey, that's a neat trick. Did you pick that up from raising dogs?

MISS V.
Kinda.

THE CAT
(Now returning all up in MR. S' face.)
Okay, your turn.

MR. S.
What the hell, I'll try.

(MR. S. carefully takes a little bit of ice cream on his spoon and attempts to drip some on the nose of THE CAT. He succeeds, but only marginally. He dangles the spoon near THE CAT again for a second flyby.)

THE CAT
Oh, screw this.

(THE CAT lunges with one mighty paw and scores a perfect hit on the spoon. Almost instantaneously, he realizes he has gone and stuck his paw into something REALLY FREAKIN' COLD, and shakes his paw like a fiend. ICE CREAM goes flying EVERYWHERE. On the coffee table, on the couch, on MR. S. and even a little bit on THE CAT.)

MR. S.
OH NICE HIT, WILLIAM TELL

(THE CAT is happily licking ice cream off everything and too busy to care about anything else.)

MISS V.
(Suddenly overcome with a gigglefit the size of Rhode Island)
I think you need more practice.

fin

(21 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:gee_tar
Date:December 12th, 2008 03:19 pm (UTC)
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Wow, this sounds even more entertaining than 30 Rock.
[User Picture]
From:phonemonkey
Date:December 12th, 2008 03:34 pm (UTC)
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She's not the only one overcome with a gigglefit the size of Rhode Island.

Abbie does have mighty paws. Did it take him a long time to get the ice cream out of his toe tufts?
[User Picture]
From:bkdelong
Date:December 12th, 2008 04:05 pm (UTC)
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Teh Cute....It kills. Thurs nights are the best.
[User Picture]
From:greenlily
Date:December 12th, 2008 04:09 pm (UTC)
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*gigglefit*

My ex-kittens had similar reactions to ice cream, but they were very tiny kittens (6 weeks old when we adopted them) and their noses would've been impossibly small targets.
[User Picture]
From:muffyjo
Date:December 12th, 2008 04:22 pm (UTC)
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I believe I heard The Cat explaining he wanted to practice that move a few more times.
[User Picture]
From:some_kitten
Date:December 12th, 2008 04:28 pm (UTC)
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I adore Mr. The Cat.

Mr. S. is funny.

Pie is good, too.
[User Picture]
From:mybadhairlife
Date:December 12th, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC)
(Link)
*bows to the Master!*

*wonders if the Master has any tips for getting pizza boxes open, 'cause sitting on them is no help.*
[User Picture]
From:k_sui
Date:December 12th, 2008 04:40 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Our cat acts like that if there's a sound that comes even remotely close to a can opener. Because in his brain, can opener = tuna.
[User Picture]
From:tonysalieri
Date:December 12th, 2008 05:04 pm (UTC)
(Link)
My cat appears to be working to understudy for yours...
[User Picture]
From:grumqa
Date:December 12th, 2008 06:05 pm (UTC)
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This is exactly why we keep the internet around.
[User Picture]
From:reveritas
Date:December 12th, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
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who is this mysterious Miss V?
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:reveritas
Date:December 13th, 2008 05:29 pm (UTC)
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*peers at the waving hand* Yes HermitGeecko? Do you have the answer?
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:December 13th, 2008 06:08 pm (UTC)
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I'll say she does!
[User Picture]
From:reveritas
Date:December 13th, 2008 06:15 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Did I Ask You, Mr. Spatchel?

oh, i guess i did. :D
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:December 13th, 2008 06:18 pm (UTC)
(Link)
*finger on nose*
[User Picture]
From:meedja
Date:December 12th, 2008 10:31 pm (UTC)
(Link)
The moral of this story is: Mr The Cat knows what he wants, and Mr S should give it to him without complaint or argument. Otherwise THINGS happen. Mr The Cat, he is wise.
[User Picture]
From:resk
Date:December 12th, 2008 11:59 pm (UTC)
(Link)
More like this, please. Perhaps next time with . . . slushie?
[User Picture]
From:johnnycanuck
Date:December 13th, 2008 12:53 am (UTC)
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I need to see this as a short film.

I'll executive produce. Here's $5.00. GO GO GO
[User Picture]
From:herself_nyc
Date:December 13th, 2008 02:27 am (UTC)
(Link)
Hee.
[User Picture]
From:violetisblue
Date:December 13th, 2008 03:46 am (UTC)
(Link)
*hands Mr. The Cat his very own soft-serve cone*

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